So a couple of days ago I’m going through my morning routine: up by 6, on with the boots, out to the box at the end of the driveway for the newspaper, the Morning Sentinel. Back inside, put the kettle on for tea, pour juice, make toast. Get everything all set, open the paper. I start reading, and there are Joel and Kelvin.
The two petty thieves and schemers who decide to go big time in PORT CITY SHAKEDOWN are staring off the page at me. Whoah, I say.
In real life, Jason B. and Jean B. were alleged to have been doing the old tree trimming/paving scam, roaming around Maine and New Hampshire looking for old people to rip off. The D.A. for our area, Evert Fowle, said Jean had a long record: “pending theft and forgery charges; probation for aggravated criminal mischief, eluding an officer and operating under the influence; and probation in New Hampshire for numerous traffic violations, OUI and operating after suspension.”
Jean and Jason meet Joel and Kelvin. Joel and Kelvin meet Jean and Jason. “Hey, wait a minute. Weren’t you guys in Cumberland County Jail in 07? Hell, yeah. I thought you looked freakin’ familiar.”
If art and life really could meet, these guys would probably team up. Except my fictional buddy Joel would be saying, “Driveways? You still doing driveways? Dude, that’s pathetic. PA-THE-TIC. You want to bring in some dinero, you gotta think big. Me and Kelvin, we ain’t done the driveway scam in freakin’, what, Kel, coupla years? Freakin’ old people, looking at you through the screen door through their thick glasses. ‘What? What you say? Your driveway, lady. It needs resealing? I said, RESEALING!’ Screw that. I’m gonna put myself out, I’m gonna make some serious cash.”
Well, that’s Joel, doing all the thinking, Kelvin doing the heavy work. I peg Jason for Joel, Jean for Kelvin. It’s funny, though. When this happens, when the characters seem to step off the page and literally come to life, you feel like these real-life guys should know. Hey, buddy. I invented you way back. I mean, is this life imitating art or what?